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Subject: Re: Spoiling children: Disgraceful BBC / Daily Mail reporting of duff survey Posted on: Tue, 25 Mar 2008 17:55:48 +0000 (UTC)

On Mon, 24 Mar 2008 06:11:13 -0700 (PDT), Turk182
wrote:


>
>Did you, OK. What is the point of punishment? Perhaps to have a
>deterrent effect which cause someone to think twice before engaging in
>a course of action again! When my youngest son as a toddler took a
>felt tip pen and scribbled over the wall, I used the principles of
>attachment theory to demonstrate my concern. I looked at the wall
>with distain and concern. I let him investigate my concern with me,
>inspecting the wall and watching me puzzle out how we would rectify
>the problem. I asked him what he thought we could do to get rid of
>the writing. I noticed he was involved with the problem and could
>tell he wanted to be part of the solution. Eventually when the
>washing failed to get all the stains off, he came with me to buy paint
>and then was involved with the painting of the wall, I allowed him to
>use the brush himself and was able to teach him care of how not spill
>the paint and get a smooth distribution.
>
>The outcome was that I had a son who now took care of walls and would
>even spot problems for future repair. If I had smacked him instead, I
>would have achieved nothing. I don't want to hurt a person, (even
>though I have felt the rage that sometime enables it) it is a poor
>substitute for a learning experience.
>
>In life there are actions and consequences. Consequences are set be a
>system of social imposition. If society does not attempt to turn a
>bad situation into a good one and create enthusiasm from the wrongdoer
>rather than misery, loss of power, humiliation, and anger - then
>society deserves all that it gets. Our prisons are a perfect example
>- detaining people without enabling them to develop persoanlly is a
>recipe for further crime.
>

LOL

I must try that approach when next I see a group of kids vandalising
the local bus shelter.
How far away should I stand when I look at the shelter with disdain
and concern?
Should I puzzle over how to rectify the problem with all of them in
turn or as a group?
After leaving the A&E, should I return to see if they had put things
right in my absence?

Try reheating those theories of yours, they are still only half baked.